Category Archives: Dating and Relationships

The Friend Zone Part 2- Why are you in the friend zone and how to get out of it.

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If you ever been friend zoned, which I’m pretty sure everyone has experienced, you probably wondering why the hell why? Well there’s a couple of things that can get you friend-zoned…

She’s just not that into you bro. Yeah, maybe she thinks you such a nice guy. Maybe she thinks you really smart. Lets not forget hilarious. Despite all this she’s just not attracted to you. Sometimes this happens. We can’t always control who we are and aren’t attracted to. I’ve been in the situation where a guy, on paper,was pretty perfect, but there just was no attraction and you can’t force that. I’m pretty sure no one want’s to be with someone that isn’t attracted to them. If this is the case, and she’s just not attracted to you, you have two options, carry on being her friend and accept that that’s most probably all it will ever be or cut your losses and cut contact with her.

You just TOO nice. Obviously there is nothing wrong with being nice but being overly nice will get you nowhere. She knows you will be there to answer her every little whimsical need. You already all she needs packaged under the label “friend”. Following her around like a love-sick puppy just makes you look sad and pathetic, and no one wants to date the sad, pathetic guy. All you going to end up being is the guy she calls to tell you what an asshole her date was.

She’s used to dating bad boys. If this is true, she’s most probably been hurt in the past and blames this on the male species in general. [I’m still deciding where I stand on this one ;)]. “Relationship with a NICE guy? He treats me like a princess? Where’s the catch?” For this type of girl, in her head there’s always a catch and she’s not willing to take a chance. Good news is these type of girls are actually desperate to be convinced that decent guys exist, so if you like her that much, soldier on, soldier!

Like I mentioned before, if you’ve been put in the friend zone it’s pretty hard to escape, but it’s not impossible.

Step 1: Stop being a stage-5 clinger! Hard to get is key. Us humans tend to want what we think we can’t have, so make getting you a challenge. [There is a fine line here though, if you become too unavailable, she’ll move on to the next one.]

Step 2: Show that you interested in other women. If she has the slightest interest in you this will drive her crazy!

Step 3: Turn the tables. Ask her for advice on girls. Girls are very jealous creatures, again if there’s any interest this will make her crazy,

Step 4: Tell her YOU just want to be friends. After step 2 and 3, she will barely be able to stand it anymore.

Step 5: Ask her out to dinner. Put your arm around her. Do all the things you’d do if you were interested in a girl.

Step 6: If she responds to step 5, then be unpredictable [not psycho!] Basically keep her guessing. Never little her think she has you wrapped around her little finger. Girls want to be with a guy that WANTS her, not NEEDS her. This is the key.

Good luck getting out the friend zone and getting your girl ūüėČ

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The Friend Zone Part 1- The reason for the friend zone and how do you know if you’ve been zoned!

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It’s been said, all women need to do to get sex is ask for it. For women though sex is usually more emotional therefore girls aren’t willing to give up the goodies as readily as guys are. The result, more men get placed into friend zone than women do.

By having a good guy friend, a girl is pretty much sorted. She has someone with all the male qualities she looks for in a relationship such as strength, help in making decisions, logic etc, without the emotional and hormonal mess that sex can bring to the table.

Men are made up differently though. Men aren’t as emotional as their female counterparts. When a guy likes a women, he naturally wants to show these feelings…in the bedroom.

When a girl meets a guy they almost¬†immediately¬†decide “potential lover” or “potential friend”. It’s true, once you’ve been friend zoned it’s almost impossible to get out of the zone…almost. The unfortunate thing, if you do become a close friend, she’ll¬†unintentionally¬†treat you like a lover but without the added benefits.

If you think you can be the best friend who’s shoulder she can cry on, and she will one day wake up and realize you the one for her…you have been watching way too many chick flicks because you are sadly mistaken.

So have you been friend zoned? How do you know if you’ve been friend zoned?

There are ways to tell if you just a friend.

If she says things like, “I love that I can tell you anything!” ‘You such a nice guy!’ or the dreaded, “You like a brother to me!” then hate to say it, you so far into the friend zone that chances of ever exiting are looking grim. Maybe you’ve finally decided to bite the bullet and ask her out, you get the “I don’t wanna ruin our friendship.” Then you have to continue hearing about all her boy drama and you just want to shake some sense into her, while sitting there thinking “how the hell did I get here?” Yeah it sucks, but depending on why she decided to friend zone you, you stand a small chance of climbing out and winning the girl.

Part 2 you’ll find out why you got friend zoned and how to avoid it in the future.

Stay tuned!

10 Ways You Can Become Irresistible To Women

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All guys want to be irresistible, actually all guys and girls want to be¬†irresistible. We all wish we could hook up with that person way outta our league. There are things about yourself you just can’t change, but you can play up on your strong points. [Girls, I can’t help you with the how to become¬†irresistible¬†to guys…if I knew I wouldn’t be here. I’d be in Josh Duhamel’s bed right now.] Boys, I realise you have attention spans of squirrels so I have ¬†condensed the paragraphs to the bare basics and even added pictures of hot girls. Don’t say that you don’t love me.

[One] HAVE A ROMANTIC BONE IN YOUR BODY

If us females get the vibe that all you want is to get into our pants, it’s kind of off putting. What happened to the days of wining and dining a lady? It’s time to bring those days back boys! It’s not all wining, dining, flowers and chocolate though.¬†The way to give a girl butterflies is to make her feel liked for being herself and by making her feel like she’s beautiful. Drop a compliment. But not so many that you come off trying to hard. Make a girl feel special and she’ll see you as special.

[two] GIVE HER ATTENTION

Women like attention. It’s just one of those facts of life. That said, don’t be over the top about it. We don’t like to feel smothered. Instead of dropping a compliment every 5 minutes and giving her a gift every time you see her, a simple text message saying “missing you” will do wonders. It shows that you were thinking about her at that moment. That’s the attention a woman craves. Giving her the right attention is a sure fire way to make yourself¬†irresistible¬†to her.

[three] CONFIDENCE IS KEY

There is no other way to say it. Confidence. Repeat it a million times till it’s drilled into your brain. A confident man is¬†irresistible. You can have all other 9 tips honed to a T but if you not confident you’ll never be irresistible. Women are drawn to a confident man like a magnet. Be careful not to cross the line over to arrogant though. Arrogant guys don’t get the girl. Confidence is going for what you want minus the boasting and smack-talk. Confidence makes women go crazy.

[four] BE ADVENTUROUS

I love guys who are keen to try new things and I know this goes for most girls. Nobody likes a buzz kill. If you keen on extreme sports that’s awesome, if not just trying new foods or clubs shows an¬†adventurous¬†spirit. Invite her along in trying new things, it shows that you will be willing to try new things in other areas of life. Girls value guys willing to try new things, it shows that you not a pansy ass.

[five] KEEP HER GUESSING

Maybe you thinking “huh”? Well girls like guys they can’t predict. Which may be where the bad boy attraction stems from. People want what they can’t have. Flirt then don’t call for a day. I¬†guarantee¬†she is¬†obsessing!¬†¬†So keep her guessing. Tease her, have fun with her. Don’t be boring! Don’t be like every other guy. Keep her on her toes. Remember, an¬†irresistible¬†guy is a guy who is set apart from the rest.

[six] THOUGHTFULNESS GOES A LONG WAY

Girls like to know that you thinking about them. That’s why we do like the¬†occasional¬†gift or message. Showing thoughtfulness, is doing something nice and unexpected. Making her a random cup of tea or complimenting her new hair colour without her hinting first. Thoughtfulness will make a girl weak at the knees.

[seven] WEAR THE PANTS

Girls like guys to be the dominant one in a relationship, even if they claim not too, it’s just science. It can be both a conscious or unconscious attraction. I don’t mean be a rude, pushy, sexist creep but instead take the lead in decision making, be the strong one. This is a major way to become Mr¬†Irresistible.

[eight] BE CLASSY

Channel your inner James Bond. Not necessarily the fast cars [though that’d be cool] but he’s¬†suaveness¬†and class. Make sure your outfits relatively match. Know things about things. Oh and boys, chivalry isn’t ¬†dead. A guy who opens the door for a woman goes a long way to becoming¬†irresistible.

[nine] HAVE A BRAIN

Yes, I don’t mean literally. I mean be smart. You don’t need to have your master’s in Actuary Science. Just show that you know things and that you have an opinion on things, that’s attractive. Even if you know just enough on a subject to get by, use it. You’ll have her hooked soon enough.

[ten] HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR

Ask any woman what they look for in a guy and 9/10 will mention a sense of humour in their list. It’s probably one of the main ways to become¬†irresistible to women, helping you get a date with that girl who is totally “out of your league”. Making a girl laugh triggers positive feelings which make her happy, and who doesn’t want to be around someone who makes them happy. So work that sense of humour boys!

Dating tips for the guys

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I was recently paging through a certain popular men’s magazine, and came across the article “How to get your dream girl”, or something to that effect. It basically gave 3 steps, “Meet her”. “Woo her”. “Keep her” I can’t remember the exact wording but yeah. No wonder so many of you guys are failing, can you get any more vague?! So I decided to make a little list of dating tips to help you out. I’m that nice. You can repay me in caramel vodka or tequila later. Some of them will be pretty obvious, some of them maybe not, and some are just personal things I go for.

Personal appearance. Boys, it’s vital. I’m not asking you to go all metro on our asses if that’s not your vibe but really basic grooming is not a lot to ask for. You wouldn’t like it if we rocked up unshaven, teeth not¬†brushed¬†and hair that looked like it could be a baby birds nest. Guys who dress well¬†immediately¬†increase their hotness factor. Showing us that you can take care of yourself is a sign that you take pride in other aspects of your life as well. The more you do it, the more we also want to look good for you. Trust me, we do notice and appreciate the effort.

We not necessarily looking for a doctor, lawyer or pilot. The reason why girls find men in these positions attractive is it usually shows they ambitious. Ambition is a big factor. For me personally, it’s probably my biggest factor when looking at a potential guy. It’s a deal-breaker for me. You can be a bartender for all I care, just be the best damn bartender you can be, and have ambition. ¬†Yes, you a bartender now, but you working towards having your own bar, or you entering the World Cup of flaring [not sure there is one, just go with it]. Do you get my point. ¬†So if need be, get your ass of that couch and get working towards something.

Know things about things. Guys looking for relationships are always saying they find intelligence sexy and so do we. Guys are girls are actually not that different. ¬†No one these days has any excuse not to be in the know about current affairs and whats going on in the world. If you don’t know know anything that’s going on you don’t only appear dumb but you appear also lazy.

Chivalry is NOT dead. Well at least it shouldn’t be. Opening doors, pulling out the seat, these things do not go unnoticed. And don’t swear like a bloody sailor. It’s just not cool. Yeah the occasional F-bomb is fine. We¬†just¬†as guilty. Show the lady you wining and dining respect. Listen to her opinions. This¬†doesn’t¬†mean you not allowed your own, just don’t bash¬†hers. ¬†Basic manners are pretty much key. It’s really not that difficult.

Girls love talking. It’s built into our DNA somewhere…I think. That¬†doesn’t mean we want to be the only one talking the whole time. ¬†Keep the conversation 50/50. Oh and top tip, if you remember stuff she said in past conversations…major points.

If you out at a club or she’s your date at wedding…dance. Girls love it. Even if you have two left feet. I kinda find that a whole lot sexier than a guy who can dance. It shows that you don’t care what people think, you just willing to have fun.

I’ll leave it on that note. Hope these tips help. Because really, what does, “Meet her, woo her, keep her” actually even mean.

The Jerk Appeal

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Guys are always complaining how the “good” [yes it is in inverted comma’s for a ¬†good reason] get friend zoned while the jerks have girls flocking to them like douchebags to an Ed Hardy Convention. [ I really hope there is no such thing as an Ed Hardy Convention]. This blog post isn’t going to be me denying that fact. It is true for many girls, but notice I didn’t say ALL girls. Men think it’s cause females like the excitement of the bad boy, and while that is may be partly true, it definitely is not the only reason. ¬†There are actually a few reasons.

Typicaly the good guy lacks confidence. Women want to be approached. We don’t like approaching. [There are of course exceptions to this rule] Women are made to want to feel protected and men to protect. It’s how we humans are. A bad guy gives off the impression that he’ll be able to protect you come hell or high water whereas the nice guy, even though he probably would, doesn’t always tend to give off that vibe. We want you to wear the pants in the relationship. We don’t want a pushover.

¬†A common misconception is woman like to “fix” the bad boy. That’s BS. A relationship is enough admin without us knowingly taken on more. This is just something good guys came up with to make themselves feel better. Harsh but true. I think most girls will back me up on this one.

The reason why girls stick with the bad boys is actually quite simple. When you go for the good guy, whether it be your best friend or that sweet boy you’ve known since junior school, when he ends up doing something wrong or hurting you, it hurts so much more! With the jerk, you kind of expecting it. You know it’s coming. So it hurts less. When it comes from a good guy, it’s like a punch in the stomach. It makes you feel worthless. The good guy was supposed to love you for you, not because he could get in your pants, or whatever other reasons jerks date the girls they do. So it comes down to self preservation. This is why girls, especially ones that have been hurt, tend to date the bad boys.

All this said, there are girls that are genuinely looking for a good guy. But the jerks..they clever. There is a reason they scoring all the chicks. They pretend to be the sweet, caring,¬†sensitive¬†guy. Then the guy turns out to be a jerk and not only does the girl get hurt but she gets told it’s her fault for going for a jerk in the first place. It’s not our fault he could’ve got an Oscar in a movie entitled “The Nice Guy”.

If this discussion was a cupcake, I’ve literally only licked off the icing. So debate away boys and girls.

Have a fab week.

xx

Eliminate the drama!

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Anyone who knows me knows I’m not a drama fan.¬†Unfortunately¬†there is a vast amount of women, especially around the teenage age group, that thrive on¬†it. This is not to say that it’s limited to teenage girls though.

Drama is basically making a big deal of something that really does not need to be made a big deal of.

The day you leave ¬†highschool you think¬†you¬†saying goodbye to the drama…well guess what, adult life is just a glorified version of high school. Everyone has a the potential to be a drama queen, and we’ve all had our moments but some people can’t seem to live without making everything an over reaction or¬†exaggeration.

Drama queens are basically people who are bored with their lives and need to be the center of attention constantly. It drives me nuts! Harsh but true.

Take a good hard look at your life and be honest with yourself. Is your life filled with unnecessary drama? Are you the cause of this drama? There are some circumstances that are out of our control but for the most part we can eliminate a lot of the drama. It’s not hard.

Drama starts the minute you start to assume things. Someone does something you don’t like and you assume all the reasons why said person did said thing. Assumption is the mother of all f**k ups. Assuming also cause¬†unnecessary¬†stress on your part. We always assume the worst. If you want to know why someone did or didn’t do something, ask them straight.

Don’t believe everything you hear. People talk and everyone will have an opinion. Stories that travel along the grapevine are going to be altered somewhat [think broken telephone]. So if you hear something via someone, rather confront the person(s) involved. Also remember there are two sides to every story. If you believe everything you hear you really just fueling the drama.

The drama BS could almost completely¬†eradicated¬†if the people involved just dealt with the issues directly. It’s a lack of communication skills. So if you a person who is always involved in drama it’s actually a poor reflection on your ability to communicate. If you have a problem with someone or you think someone has a problem with you, talk to them, before it becomes a full blown issue that starts to involve other people. If you want to cut out drama from your life you need to be willing to have these, sometimes awkward, conversations with others.

“She did this to me, so I’m going to do this to her.” Please…let’s leave that back in high school. We adults now, let’s act like it. Leave revenge to karma. Fighting fire with fire is just going to make the fire even bigger.¬†¬†Sometimes you just need to let things go.

The best thing though is to cut out people who are always full of drama from your life.¬†Just after high school I was in a quite a large group of friends. The drama was 24/7. There was always something. After a year I couldn’t take it anymore, so I pulled away from the group. It was the best thing I could have done. When you realise someone in your life thrives on drama, start backing away. If you haven’t become involved in the drama yet, it’s only a matter of time.¬†the less drama you have in your life, the room you have for fun, happiness and great drama-free [or at least minimal drama] relationships.

Happy “Spread The Love” Day

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Happy Valentines Day EVERYBODY! Including all you who hate Valentines Day. [I’ll share a secret…I’m not the hugest fan.] It’s a harmless day. So what that it gives you an excuse to show your loved ones you care. Is that really such a bad thing?

Use it as an excuse to do something nice today. Bake cupcakes. There’s not much better than cupcakes. If you in a relationship I’m sure your significant other will love cupcakes and if not, hell, it’s more for you!

Paint your nails a bright, fun colour. Read a good book. Email a friend you haven’t heard from for awhile. Go for a walk. Tell the ones you love you love them! Just have a damn good day, and don’t forget to spread the love.

In the word’s of Jimi Hendrix, “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.”

xoxo