When meeting new people I always come across as a lot more quiet than I really am. I hate speaking in front of large audiences, sometimes I don’t know what to say when somebody is going through a bad situation so I came across as callous and cold-hearted, and I hate talking about my feelings and my personal stuff. It all comes down to a fear of rejection. It because, unfortunately, I do care what people think of me. In my last post I said how it was a bad thing. I honestly don’t care what the people I don’t like think of me, but when I like or respect someone then I do care. Is this wrong? Must I totally not care what people think?
But then I thought about how caring about what people think has affected me negatively. Sometimes I tie my self-image too closely to what other people think. I guess everybody wants to be popular and more than that we all have a fear of ended up alone someday. That feeling of rejection in the pit of your stomach is not a fun feeling.
I’m bad at using excuses, ranging from “I’m too shy to I’m not pretty enough or I’m not smart enough” but if I stop caring about what other people think and just be me then I know when people actually do like me then they like me for the real me. If I remember that I can stop worrying about “rejection” because honestly why would I want anyone in my life who doesn’t like or love me for me.
The point of doing this 30 day Cleanse is for me to figure all the negative stuff holding me back and change them. I’m going to stop caring about what other people think. Well I’m going to try at least. I’m going to work towards my goals without caring what other people think about them. I’m not going to be scared to show the next guy I like a lot that I may actually like him [that’s a big one for me] and I’m not going to depend on other people, because everyone will let you down eventually.